It's pretty hard to keep forgiving people when you feel like they have no idea what they did. You can prepare a speach to tell them or yell at them whatever the case may be but realistically if they could understand your point of view they wouldn't have done this in the first place.
For instance with Jake, why did they take him? Did they have a brain chip missing to know that would be hazardous to him and to me and to our lives and that somehow they could make a life from taking his and mine apart. Seriously, I've tried explaining this to them and they say, we won him fair and square in court. With really no regards to how they paid off a judge to steal a child. It's really wrong.
Yet they have gone on with the prize that is him and lived with this secret which they feel is justified because they couldn't conceive of a child and so it's fair to steal someone elses child. Lying cheating and manipulating are just part of the story and what you have to do to get one. and if you have to pay off a judge then hey, it's all for a good cause of selfish desire to have a child.
or other people who are cruel and wish to take over your life with their own and then get angry when you kick them out of your life. They accuse you of such horrible behavior when really they should be grieved at their own. I really don't understand it.
I want to forgive and not be tied to them in unholy bounds but I can't seem to get free of it permanently and stay free of it. I keep on working on it unless it's a day when it seems to get the best of me rolling me over like a wave.
But I wish to be free of it once and for all, to put it in the forgotten folder and delete it off the harddrive, but I haven't found how to yet. i guess more prayer more crying more tears.
i really don't know.
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